Clever Silly Luv

This post was written by admin on August 6, 2017
Posted Under: Daily Panic Battles,Panic Attack Help for Caregivers/Support People

We face a unique battle.  While it can have its ups and downs and highs and lows, there is nothing more important in facing this than this single simple concept – Clever Silly Luv.  Naturally for the ones that follow this blog, this seems a little abstract and perhaps even odd….but stick with me.

I will start with the concept of love as we know it.  Parents love their children.  Children love their parents. Then the children grow up and they will find love in someone else.  A partner, a best friend, a lover and a husband or wife.  The concept of relationship love has become so convoluted and so lost and tainted that the idea of loving someone has become a nearly impossible battle. An old song once referenced getting back to the basics of love.  So that is what we will do.

A long time ago, a book was written and in that book contained basically the guide to life, it is the same book that some follow today, some claim to follow and some will deny its mere existence and never follow.  Again, stay with me because it really does not matter whether you follow and practice, claim to follow and ignore or deny its existence and authenticity.  Recently, I heard a child ask his parent if they could read this book, the child less than 5 years old, just wanted to read from this book and the parent was not interested, instead of encouraging the reading, the child was met with discouragement in what seemed to be an unimportant view of what this book represents. This same parent claims to follow this book but ignores the words.  From beginning to end, this book contains the mystery to life and love.  While it does not address every possible situation or  scenario it certainly does address one topic quite clearly – LOVE.

In the latter part of the second half of this book, there is guidelines for love.  Plain and simple and very clear.  They go like this:

  •  Love
    • Endures:
    • With patience and serenity
    • Is kind and thoughtful
    • Is not jealous or envious
    • Does not brag and is not proud or arrogant 
    • Is not rude
    • Is not self-seeking
    • Is not provoked [nor overly sensitive and easily angered]
    • Does not take into account a wrong endured 
    • Does not rejoice at injustice, but rejoices with the truth [when right and truth prevail] 
    • Love bears all things [regardless of what comes]
    • Believes all things [looking for the best in each one]
    • Hopes all things [remaining steadfast during difficult times]
    • Endures all things [without weakening]
    • Never fails [it never fades nor ends]

There you have it, more than 15 things that love is and even more that love is not. Love is not a light switch that gets turned on and off at will.  It does not matter the situation of the circumstance, but love is a constant and true love is ever present never gives up, never quits and never ever fails.  But of all these things, love is forgiveness, forgive and forget and move on.  Today, love is tossed around as just a word to be said to get what you want and to manipulate and mislead and ultimately reach the next level.

Forgiveness.  We live in a digital age, nothing seems to be forgotten let alone forgiven.  Once something hits the internet it is there for all eternity. So how does this fit into the concept of panic and anxiety.  It is actually so simple that it is both Clever and Silly;

In order to face the panic and anxiety as scary as it is, you must love yourself.  You need to be in love with yourself and you need to give yourself permission to not be perfect.  No one is perfect.  The biggest lie we tell ourselves and each other is that I must be perfect.  Bull!  The other big lie that we tell ourselves and each other is I need or must have someone to complete me.  Well if we are talking about a friend, best friend, lover, husband and wife then we are only deceiving ourselves. Bigger Bull! We were created to be relational, but thanks to the widespread poisoning of our minds, the internet has told us that this is what we need to look for, must have and be in order to be ok.  Who defines Normal?  What is Normal?  Does it really matter?

I was recently challenged with this very concept.  I was asked for the first time in my life if I loved myself, if I was in love with myself and if the love I had for myself was bigger than the love for any other person.  See, we have been led to believe that if we are all those things to our self, that we are stuck up, conceited or all about ourselves.  The reality is that while we all want to have someone to love, we are led to believe that person is always another.  It isn’t.  It is us first.  We must love ourselves exactly as we are.  No matter what. There is no way you can love another completely if you don’t love yourself first.

I also recently had my heart broken.  In that it was because I had fallen so deeply in love with another that I forgot myself and it hurt.  It still hurts, it will always hurt. The reason that things went badly and the reason it ended the way it did is because one of us loved our self first and the other did not. Love makes you do silly things, move to a new city, buy a new house, buy a new car or spend over $30k in jewelry among other things. There is a song that was released many years ago, so to the one that just broke my heart, here is the Silly Love Song, just for you.  So it actually comes back to the fundamentals, the basics of love and the proper application of those basic fundamentals.  Look at the bullet points again.

In facing panic and anxiety as big as it is and as insurmountable as it is or seems, it can be faced head on. As the journey continues, there are just a few pointers that help along the way:

  • If someone tells you they will always be there for you, it is a lie; you can only depend on yourself and pray for the ones that say they will be there for you
  • Realize that only you have the strength to face this and get through; a support network helps, but the strength comes from with in
  • Never let yourself be judged, belittled or talked down to for having panic and anxiety issues; you did not ask for this, it was and is not an intentional choice you made
  • Forgive all the ones that have shunned you for dealing with this; complete love only comes after the complete forgiveness and forgetting of wrongs
  • Never stop loving yourself; you are made the way the Master Builder intended you to be, don’t let anyone try and convince you otherwise

Clever. Silly. Simple.

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