Clever Silly Luv

We face a unique battle.  While it can have its ups and downs and highs and lows, there is nothing more important in facing this than this single simple concept – Clever Silly Luv.  Naturally for the ones that follow this blog, this seems a little abstract and perhaps even odd….but stick with me.

I will start with the concept of love as we know it.  Parents love their children.  Children love their parents. Then the children grow up and they will find love in someone else.  A partner, a best friend, a lover and a husband or wife.  The concept of relationship love has become so convoluted and so lost and tainted that the idea of loving someone has become a nearly impossible battle. An old song once referenced getting back to the basics of love.  So that is what we will do.

A long time ago, a book was written and in that book Read More…


Found this and since the original purpose of this blog was to help caregivers help people dealing with this, it is more than appropriate to post the link….


Panic Meltdown……The Nice Guy Persona

Meltdown in Progress

Meltdown in Progress / Royalty Free Image

Dealing with Panic and Anxiety attacks is a series of events that are circular and repetetive and are taxing, tiring and otherwise just plain difficult; if they overwhelm.  We have SO MANY items coming at us these days.  So much stimuli that we are completely, utterly and pathetically overwhelmed.  Information/misinformation is in abundance.  The issue we that we have is what is true, what is false and what is just pure fabrication?  For every issue that there is to be looked at, there are at least a dozen positive, negative and neutral viewpoints.

So what do we do at this point?  We can’t hide under a rock and must find the strength to persevere in all circumstances.  Recently I embarked on an accidental journey that has taken me to a new place, a new perspective and a new vision.  I believe that the root cause of my panic and anxiety attacks are rooted at one source…….”Nice Guy Syndrome.”  This equally applies to the ladies so don’t feel as though I am leaving you out.  A”Nice Guy” is easily identified from these simple traits…..

Here are the more commonly accepted symptoms:

  • They believe that if they are good, giving, and caring, that they will get happiness, love and fulfillment in return.
  • They offer to do things for a girl they hardly know that they wouldn’t normally do for just anybody else they know.
  • They avoid conflict by withholding their opinions or even become agreeable with her when they don’t actually agree.
  • They try to fix and take care of her problems, they are drawn to trying to help.

Read More…


Moving On: Changing Scenery Can Change the Outlook

Not all people that are battling Panic Attacks have the option.  But it is worth considering this; a change of scenery can make a world of Moving On(VWs Never Die!)difference.  One of the biggest ptoblem with Panic Attacks is familiarity; complacentcy; the ‘same-old-same-old.’  I call this situationalism.  Remember your first Panic Attack?  Did it happen in the car on a stretch of road?  Do you feel your heart as a lump in your throat when you go past that same spot?  Do you look for ways to avoid that same area?  Or did it happen in the store?  Do you feel like your head is going to spin off your body everytime you go there?

Perhaps, the best medicine is that you pack it all up and move somewhere?  Somewhere you have never been.  Have you thought about that?  Does think about that make you feel like you are running away from the problem or instead are you perhaps running to your cure? Read More…


A New Direction: Easing the Pain: Redemption

Panic and Anxiety Attacks can seem to have no end. They strike when you don’t expect and they strike when you are in a spot that you have had them before. They wake you up. They show no mercy. They come with a fury and drain every ounce of confidence and energy and then turn and smile as they leave.

However, there is something redemptive when, in the natural course of battling the demon, you find a way to take control back.  Finding the way to break the chains of the demon seems to be an endless and expensive proposition, but in a strange sense of the word, it can be done. 

This story goes back to March, 2010 when I found myself at the lowest point.  Read More…


Loneliness: Kill Me Now or Kill Me Later

Part of dealing with Panic and Anxiety is the intense sense of feeling unattached to those around us. A feeling that what we are dealing with makes us the only person in the world dealing with it. What makes it even harder is that in some sense of the word, we are also viewed as having a lesser sense of right and wrong and a lesser sense of being who we were before all this happened; as if we can truly remember a time when we were judged as “normal.”

Something happened today.  There is carelessness and complacency when you live in a neighborhood that you have grown a part of.  However, now more than ever, you can not let your guard down.  Even though you park your car in the garage and close the door behind the car, valuables that are easily stolen can be easily removed from your car in the garage.  The greatest invention for garages was the garage door opener.  A device that has forever changed the face of society.  No matter the weather you do not have to leave the comfort of your car to open your garage door.  With this wonderful invention, you can simply push a button and the door almost magically opens.  The auto manufacturers have also seized this wonderment of convenience by including something called Homelink which allows you to program your car to your garage door opener, doing away with the need for clunky devices hanging from your visor.

Enter the criminal element and you find that this item of comfort is an item that allows free access to Read More…


Sexual Healing – Ultimate Stress Relief

Probably one of the greatest songwriters/composers was Marvin Gaye.  Unfortunately, his life was cut short tragically but not before he delivered some of the greatest songs.

In this song, he talks about the healing powers of sex.  It is a common joke that a man will just turn over and go to sleep after an encounter.  But there is well known established facts that promote the power of intimacy.  It has been proven time and time again through thousands of studies that the greatest and most natural form of stress relief is sex.  It does not have to be good sex, it can be bad sex, if there is such a thing. The power of release from stress for both men and women has been well established in medical journals.
Unfortunately, however, many people facing Panic and Anxiety Disorder find themselves “not in the mood” Read More…


Support Fallout – What Happened When the People I Count on are not There?

OnStar, what is your emergency?

I had a meeting last night.  Flying high off of a successful journey on Sunday, I felt confident with reasonable doubt that I could do this, without much help.  My external support network is pretty good-I thought.  My Panic manifests itself 99% of the time in a motor vehicle. But I was feeling pretty good.  I had one of my support people follow me part way to the location of the meeting, but also indicated that after my meeting was over, that I might need some help.  This is the usual signal to be ready at the approximate time.  I have not fully mastered the art of not giving into flight or fleeing. Read More…


Stress – A Lighter Perspective

Too Blessed to Be Stressed!

Too Blessed to Be Stressed!

I can not take any credit for this.  A dear friend sent this to me.  I do not know the author or origin but it is so appropriate, I had to share it.

A lecturer, when explaining stress management to an audience, raised a glass of water and asked, ‘How heavy is this glass of water?’

Answers called out ranged from 20g to 500g.

The lecturer replied, ‘The absolute weight doesn’t matter. It depends on how long you try to hold it.
If I hold it for a minute, it’s not a problem.. Read More…


P.A.W. – A Delicate Balance

I am the Boss…You are the Under Ling. Any Questions?

A delicate balance exists when a person that deals with any level of Panic and/or Anxiety Disorder attempts to remain a productive worker.  The vast majority of people that I have encountered in my many years of dealing with my own Panic and/or Anxiety Disorder strive so hard to live fruitful and properous lives.

So what does this mean. A little information and a few tips and you should be just fine. I DO advocate informing your employer of your condition. If they do not understand it, help break it down to easy to understand terms. If you are given the option to voluntarily disclose your Panic and Anxiety ordeal on your initial employment forms, then do so. It helps in the establishment of a history of the disorder. Do not exploit the condition beyond the restrictions that it already imposes. I must stress this, you are attmpting to be a valued and engaged employee, but using the condition as an excuse when you just don’t feel like going to work is not going to help you any.

However, the sad reality is this, unless you are a Hollywood Star, Famous Celebrity or Elected Official, your days as a valued member of a team are numbered unless you can find a truly caring and compassionate employer.  Attempting to be a valued, engaged employee in the real world of big business is a tough task to dance around.  Many professionals and healthcare providers advocate open and honest communication with your employer and explaining the situation and that you are under medical care and are committed to that care because rather than curl up in the corner and wither away, you want to be a part of the workforce.

My real life example as to how hard this is is truly sad.  Read More…